Us vs. Them

So, I was looking through trying to find out what I needed to find out and one link led to me to an article that I thought was really interesting and, of course, it had nothing to do with my original search criteria. I just happened to be scanning and thought I’d take a gander to see what was going on. Sure enough, I got side tracked and my search was once again put on hold.

It always seems to happen like that with me.

There is a conversation at Mom Bloggers Club entitled “Unintended Consequences of Mom Blogging”. Jennifer James, the founder of Mom Bloggers Club, writes:

We’re all unique and together we’re a complex bunch to be sure. Collectively, however, we are extremely intelligent, giving, witty, generous, and diverse. That’s why I am a bit concerned to see how quickly our community seems to be collapsing into one cacophonous barrage of daily blog arguments and Twitter fights. [...]It is my assertion that every mom blogger has the right to run her blog the way she sees fit without public condemnation and wayward judgments. Beyond transparency and honesty, there are no concrete standards by which all mom bloggers should adhere. We can all offer opinions and perspectives about our idea of what pristine mom blogging should be, but they are exactly that: opinions, not rules. Moms can take them or leave them and even make up their own rules along the way.

The conversation following the post is mostly about "Yes!" and "I agree!", which is interesting to me. In the last year and a half I’ve noticed a lot of the behaviors of which Jennifer touches on and about which the commenters give more examples. I, too, have felt left out of the "club" because of my style of writing and, primarily I think, because my children are older. That’s made me sit on the sidelines in that community and spend more time reading and watching. I am squeamish about getting too involved and getting too noticed because someone else might target me for no other reason than they don’t like my style and/or they’re bored and/or I’ve done something else to anger them and they’re seeking to take me “down a peg”. I’ve seen this happen in this community and it makes me skittish, to say the least.

I have seen some posts from more established and popular members of the community who have taken others to task for “ethics violations” and content faux pas. And, of course, they have a right to voice their opinions on their own blogs. But some of these bloggers are demanding that we sign a vow of chastity or something to be included in their club and yet they’ve led the way with the types of blogging which they now denounce. No wonder there are rifts! There is an “us vs. them” mentality among the elite and some feel it’s their way of expressing their distaste for the “others” imposing on their territory.

The fact that these posts have to be written at all should say something. There should be no need for them. I find the conversation fascinating and have felt left out in the cold, why else would I be writing about it? It’s definitely a way to foster a new sense of community and encourage new members to finally come out of the shadows. There is too much divisiveness among the women in the community and the “leaders” of that community oftentimes cause that. Perhaps the community needs new leaders?

If you haven’t checked out the Mom Bloggers Club, you should. There are interesting women over there having really interesting conversations. I might actually become more involved with the community again.

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