Royal Sleeper

I’ve got to tell you, I’m just not getting into USA Network’s "Royal Pains". There’s lots of rich people, speeding Ferrari parts, ocean scenes and medical jargon, but I’m just not feeling it. I don’t know why that is because I’m usually a huge fan of USA Network original programming.

The premiere episode was pretty dramatic and I thought there was some promise there (except for the part where he lost his job, which was a really horrible part of the story), but then every time I was watching it I found myself switching channels. Hank is just a really sleepy character to me. Especially, I think, because I watched “E.R.” from it’s infancy to it’s demise and then met “House”. How can a hum-drum concierge doctor stand a chance with those shows setting the bar? I was very intrigued by Hank’s benefactor (landlord?), Boris, but he just didn’t make a lot of sense either. And there’s not enough meat on that particular bone every single week.  And his “romance” with what’s her name? That’s falling flat too. Please, someone break those two up and get Hank someone a lot less down-to-earth and a lot more fiery. He needs some drama and fire in his co-characters if he’s going to have some life of his own.

He’s a very ethical doctor and is huge on helping those who can’t afford his help. That’s nice. But, aside from the guy on the boat a couple of weeks ago, that bit of his story has been flung to the wayside. Now Hank, who lost his job for saving some poor kid while the hospital’s biggest donor died, is running around saving rich people right and left. Kind of takes away from his principled stand, doesn’t it? Sure, the rich people have some interesting ailments (mostly because they’re being treated outside of a hospital setting), but didn’t his administrator girlfriend tell him that there were a lot of people in the Hamptons that needed his help. What happened to that? He’s very focused on Tucker, the rich hemophiliac, which just doesn’t jive with the back story. Yes, save Tucker, but what about the dude at the marina? What ever happened to the poor guy? Hmm?

There’s a decided, in my opinion, lack of twists and dramatic flare here, too. His brother tries to be the comedic relief, but, sadly, I’m not buying that either. The concept is interesting and can lead to some good television, but it’s not. There’s just a lot of something that doesn’t flow. It’s not compelling. It’s not like “Law & Order: Criminal Intent”, “Burn Notice” or “In Plain Sight” in that I can’t miss an episode. I don’t feel like I’m missing anything when I don’t see “Royal Pains”—and honestly I usually switch over to “House Hunters” or something equally as boring.

USA Network did renew the show for another season, so hopefully the writer’s will take notice of the ho-hum of it. There is some potential there. Grab a hold of that rich guy’s private doc turned pro-bono dude (or whatever it’s called when doctors do work for free). Get in more trouble with the authorities, piss off a mob dude, whatever. Just add some spice. Please. Right now the show is just not living up to what I’m used to seeing on that network.

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