Some Thoughts on Recovery
While I was trying to sleep last night (wishing I had the fog of a Volcano Vaporizer filled with herbs from a Grinder- which together make the best sleep medicine ever. Put the herbs in, turn on the vaporizer and VOILA, almost instant relaxation.), someone wasn’t sleeping for fear of attack. They’ve experience this kind of attack previously and are trying to find some sort of semblance of “normal” life again. They can use the magic mixture I’ve described below for a little relief, but deeper healing needs to be done.
I’ve been in this position before. There was a time when I would sleep with a hammer under my pillow “just in case”. It was a horrible time in my life and I’m happy to say that it’s over now. Still, I get a twinge when I read about other women living through the same sort of horrible nightmare.
Now imagine a different scenario: You ended a relationship some time ago with a hot-tempered person you were dating. One evening when you arrive home from a party, he appears out of nowhere, forces you into your home, drags you into the bedroom, and beats you severely. After being held captive for several hours, you finally manage to escape to some neighbors, who call for the police and an ambulance.
The sleep that came so naturally before the assault now is a distant memory. Falling asleep seems to take you forever and then is interrupted with frequent awakenings and nightmares. The nighttime now is never peaceful. Although your once-soothing bedroom environment is the same physically, the psychological associations are drastically different.
Most people consider Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder to be a combat oriented condition. When we read about it in the paper, it’s usually in relation to a soldier or the VA hospital. However, women who live through domestic violence are also prone to PTSD. This includes sleep disturbances, flashbacks and trouble forming meaningful relationships. Women who suffer from PTSD experience as many of these symptoms as men who have fought in combat.
About 90 percent of PSTD patients have disturbed sleep. They may also avoid any situation during the day that reminds them of the trauma and isolate themselves from friends and family. Many with PTSD have high anxiety levels and a heightened startle response. They are constantly vigilant for no apparent reason.
After suffering for months with the aftermath of the attack in her apartment, my patient finally was able to move out of that now-dreaded place. She’s delighted, especially with her new bedroom. Both psychotherapy and an antidepressant medication have been helpful for her, and I think moving has allowed her to achieve a fuller recovery and much better sleep.
Many people experience traumatic events and are able to live normal lives. Others, however, clearly have persistent symptoms that severely impair the quality of their lives. Both medications and various types of behavior and psychotherapy treatments are helpful for people suffering with PTSD.
I suffer(ed) from PTSD after I left an extremely abusive relationship. It took years of hard work to get myself back to “normal” again. I can sleep soundly now, but there was a time when I fought sleep with a vengeance. Many people need sleep aids and anti-depressants to help get though these times. I found that as much as pills helped me, herbal remedies and meditation (in conjunction with therapy) helped bring me back. In my own opinion, there’s nothing quite as effective as learning to love, respect and know yourself again. Taking back your own power can help push those demons away and give your life more normalcy than using “magic pills” alone (though I’m sure there are those that would argue with me).
At this point in my life I can handle a lot of things. I still can’t handle, however, watching violent t.v. (such as Lifetime movies wherein the heroine suffers much abuse and overcomes all odds) or reading any kind of stories about children dying. My fear seems to have manifested around driving- I become very fearful of other drivers - and crowds. Otherwise, I am more normal than I probably would have been if I relied solely on medications to help me. Not to say that I’m “normal” per se, just more normal.
I wish that kind of recovery for everyone that has suffered through PTSD. There will never be a complete recovery, because once the naivete of invincibility is destroyed, it doesn’t come back. But waking up after sleeping through an uneventful night is a blessing and everyone with this disorder should be able to get back to that place.
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