What Will You Do for RealRank?

Izea/PayPerPost has rolled out RealRank in the wake of the death of so many PRs. This means that blogs will be ranked by “real” measures such as “real” traffic and “real” subscribers, among other things. To be able to get the sweetest of the sweet deals the advertisers offer after the beat down by Google, a blogger will have to make sure that traffic is up and stays up. There are a number of different ways to achieve this.

1. Obviously good content would be top of the list. Great content with a unique voice and personality would be the creme de la creme, of course. But what if a blog doesn’t have that?
2. Instead of link exchanges, traffic and subscription exchanges might be an option. I see a program like BlogMad or BlogExplosion getting really popular all of the sudden. I see many people getting banned from SU and drowning the BlogCatalog forums with subscription requests. Might not work, though. What then?
3. Get your whole family to surf through proxies at the library. Shoot, go to the local University and use some kids in an “experiment” style thing. Might work for a while. But really you need sustainable traffic. They need to keep coming back.
4. Blog about Paris Hilton naked in a bar. Lots of searches for that. Or maybe even put a girlie photo on a hidden page with lots of search terms. Um, on second thought, no.
5. Controversy drives traffic. Right? Stir up some dust and here come the dollars (or whatever your preferred method of payment is). Get people fired up! Yeah, that’s the ticket.

Ok, so we’ve decided on some controversy. Now what kind?

Well, everyone hates Google right now, right? So, whatever controversy we can think of has to revolve around them. Google’s in your title? You’re definitely getting some clicks.

Their motto is “Do No Evil” so…

I’ve got it! Google is not only as bad as the terrorists from Sept. 11, they are also as evil as Hitler. The Big Google Smackdown of 2007 wasn’t as bad as Sept.11, are you kidding? That comparison was kids play at getting traffic. Nope, The Big Google Smackdown was as bad as the Holocaust.

That will bring the traffic in. Right?

Apparently that’s what this guy is thinking when he writes:

They are justifying their actions, their evil, their fear tactics, with the rationalism that they will help the greater good (by harming a minority), whether or not they are rounding people up for slaughter, or killing people with jet airplanes, or taking food away from a poor family in the US or even the Philippines, they are still harming people. Hitler did not start immediately by sending people to concentration camps, he ramped into it.

Bin Laden did not start out by killing thousands of people right away, he influenced people, curbed them to his belief system and then kicked off a campaign to achieve his sinister goals. Google today is harming people by taking away their wealth and their earning potential and they are harming the people that trust Google to provide uncensored information. Who is to say what they will do tomorrow, when their software is running on everyone’s computer and Gphone and car.

If they can not avoid doing evil today, when they have a large amount of power, what will they do tomorrow when they gain even more power?

The answer, they will do even greater evil and possibly eclipse Osama Bin Laden and Hitler combined.

The best part?

He’s got flippin’ AdSense on his blog.

No worries, he’ll get his traffic and he’ll be worth more to Izea because of that post.

Now I know that people will stoop to any level for a buck.

Survivor’s of Hitler’s Holocaust

Google’s smackdown was worse than this? It’s no wonder people actually questioned the morality of bloggers who do paid posting. I see it now. When I first saw a PPP blogger referred to as “immoral” I laughed. What? Why would someone go that far as to say something such as that? And in two days I’ve seen two examples of some dirty, nauseating attempts to boost some sort of rank. I’ve blogged for years in the trenches of liberal/conservative American politics and I’ve seen some low-life behavior, and this puts most of that to shame.

I am a very passionate person about a very few things. That means that a lot rolls right over me. But there are a few issues about which I feel so strongly that I refuse to bite my tongue. This is one of those things that got me fired up.

I won’t link, because he’s looking for traffic. He wants to stir shit. There’s no other reason for this kind of post. You’ll find him if you look hard enough. Maybe his friend will even pop her head in again to laugh with glee that she’s not the only one twisted enough to take this Google thing way to far.

And one more thing for the poor ladies who were going to suffer over the holidays because of the EVUL terrible Google- it’s not their fault. It’s the advertiser’s fault. Lay the blame where it belongs. Google didn’t take away your blog, shut down your site, and tell your kids Santa isn’t real. They took away the thing that advertisers used to determine if you’re worth $5 or $25. Your holidays are ruined? Get on your knees and thank your higher power that you’re alive, your kids haven’t been ripped from your arms, and you’ll most likely never know what it feels like to watch your family systematically murdered.

Update:

Brian very sensibly reminded Godwin’s Law.

As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one.

[...]Godwin’s law applies especially to inappropriate, inordinate, or hyperbolic comparisons of other situations (or one’s opponent) with Hitler or Nazis or their actions.

Thanks for the reminder, Brian.

_{**Psst, Brett, my grandfather was a Holocaust survivor. You don’t know shit about terror and suffering. Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving. Think Google will allow you a meal?**}

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